It’s past midnight. You’re in bed with your thoughts. Limbs achy and heart heavy with worries. Of course, you feel that way, you’re a mother.
You wish you had someone to talk to. Someone to breathe in sync with. Someone who’ll nod at the right places and tell you, you’re doing your best. Your husband is snoring away, the kids are sleeping and no one awake for miles around. You contemplate calling your mother/sister/bestie. But you don’t. You just lie there in bed, feeling small and lonely and not sure why everything hurts so damn much.
But you’re actually forgetting someone who has been there all along. She’s watching, listening, making sure you’re still breathing. She loves you more than anyone else, even though she never tells you that. She’s your staunchest ally but can also feel like your worst enemy.
Talk to her. Tell her you’re scared. Show her you’re hurt. She’ll hug you. Maybe yell at you a bit. Even completely distract you and talk about Ranveer Singh’s abs instead. But she’ll be there. She IS there. A warm voice in the cold gloom. As strong as you need her to be. And as strong as she needs to make you.
A lot of us are surprised to find out that we often discount her presence. When we cry alone, we forget that she’s holding our hand, and putting on her warrior boots. When we hyperventilate, we don’t see her squeezing us tight. We don’t even register her comforting presence, because we’re so busy looking elsewhere. And when she gets ignored time and again, she sometimes loses her nerve. So the next time you call out in anguish, she may take a while before she answers.
But she does respond. Give her a minute. She’s human too. And you’ll see that she always, always (always) has our backs, whether we’re happy or sad. Especially when we’re sad.
So who is this mysterious lady I speak of? The one with all the answers?
Well, she is you. And me. Our inner voice, our beautiful soul, our first, best friend. The warrior goddess that resides inside each and every one of us. If we learn to acknowledge that she exists, if we learn to mindfully seek her out, she will drop everything and come embrace us. And as corny as it sounds, she’s exactly the person we need.
And so the next time you lie in bed, with your heavy heart and your dark thoughts, try this one! Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Call out.
And soon you’ll hear a voice from deep inside you. And it will say, “hey babe. Want to talk?”