The fastest you can go through 365 days is by lumping entire days together into weeks and months. I did that quite a bit in 2019.

When things got too hairy, I wished them away and shut my eyes tight, waiting for the roller coaster to stop.I am human after all, and my endurance isn’t all I hoped it would be. I am not proud of my limitations, but I’m accepting of them.

But in 2020, I want things to be different. I need them to be. Otherwise, all I’ll be is a year older and just as unfulfilled.

So here are my resolutions for 2020. None of these can be quantified on a weighing scale or in a bank account. But I’ll know.

Oh, I’ll know.

In 2020, I vow to see the joy in challenges.

I vow to push myself to look past the flotsam and keep digging for treasure.

I vow to make myself uncomfortable and grow into who I’ve always wanted to be.

I vow to be unapologetic about fighting for things I deserve.

I vow to apologize, with honesty and grace.

I vow to write, because more often than not, these words save me from madness.

And I vow to slow down and cherish life. Every pokey, grimy and beautiful bit of the next 365 days. The highs and the lows, the joys and the woes. I’m going to breathe and smile and survive. The next 365 days are going to be the best I’ve ever lived.

The roller coaster is starting and I’m all belted in.

And I vow not to shut my eyes.

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