I was having a fantastic week. Work was rewarding, my hair bounced and shone, I’d added some distance to my daily run, and my coffee game was ON POINT!
Such a fantastic week.Continue reading“Mamma Mia!”
Category: humor
Miles to go before I sleep.
After a glorious week in Oregon, we drove back last Saturday to the sunnier plains of Northern California. And in case you’re thinking, this is some sort of rambling, self-discovery post. Worry not! Because you are absolutely right! Continue reading“Miles to go before I sleep.”
My first sugar coma.
(Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash)
I must have been 9 or 10. My baby sister was at daycare — “creche,” as the snooty owner-manager called them. The air was humid, grandma was snoring softly from her daybed, and I’d just discovered a jar of Nutella hidden behind some wheat crackers. The afternoon suddenly looked brighter.Continue reading“My first sugar coma.”
Hey Elon, call me back. We need to chat.
Last week, for a wild 10 minutes, we thought Minnie had gobbled down a car key.
There was a flash of her tongue, scooping up something red, and Grandma screamed, “No, Minnie!! Drop it, drop it, drop it!”Continue reading“Hey Elon, call me back. We need to chat.”
Oh, Courtney!
(Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash)
There’s a new pest in town, and “her” name is Courtney.
You see, Courtney sends me daily emails about hooking up.Continue reading“Oh, Courtney!”
Two men and a dog.
Let me tell you a story. A story of two men and a little dog.
The front yard fence had been replaced by a newer, sturdier design. Long, horizontal slats of wood had been nailed to posts after careful measurements. But Minnie’s dad was still worried. From her past misadventures, he was sure she’d squeeze between the fence’s pickets and hightail it to the McDonald’s nearby. He wanted to be certain it was corgi-proof. The Handyman — who’d been extra thorough in his estimations — assured him it was. But Dad wasn’t convinced. So he set up a test.
Pillow talk.
I was conversing with my mother-in-law in the kitchen last week as we washed the dishes. And to pass the time and tedium, I took it upon myself to educate her about random internet creeps.
Now, she is pretty worldly and, much like me, enjoys watching people make idiots of themselves. But her experience with perverts and weirdos was limited to 90s era sleazeballs and the odd guy airing his penis in a crowded subway train.Continue reading“Pillow talk.”
Firecracker.
(Photo by Japheth Mast on Unsplash)
My nephew is a firecracker. And not the sedate, sizzling kind. No, he’s the kind who comes wrapped in a tight, trim package, sheathed in fancy plastic and promising simple, wholesome fun for the whole family. He soaks in all the energy around him and lights up like a firefly in the twilight. You think he’ll crackle merrily, maybe even go off with an adorable pop, so you step in close to watch the fun.Continue reading“Firecracker.”
GAK!
I usually choke twice or thrice a year. Not figuratively, but an honest to God “clawing at my neck with the whites of my eyes showing,” choking. And while I know I’m often hyperbolic, this is not one of those times.Continue reading“GAK!”
Off my lawn, you whippersnappers!
(Photo by Kevin Lehtla on Unsplash)
Lately, I’ve noticed myself changing and not for the better. I’m crabby even after my caffeine fix, and I frequently catch myself loud-sighing when things don’t go my way. Life’s minor annoyances irk me to no end — looking at you, Mr. Lexus, who thinks it is acceptable to go 50 mph on the express lane, despite my polite honking. Continue reading“Off my lawn, you whippersnappers!”
