“You’re sure the return policy is 30 days?”
The lady behind the counter nods at me.
“And I just need to get the item and the receipt?”Continue reading“Lisps, tics and other quirks.”
Category: Essays and Prose
I was entirely indifferent to the news of his death.
I put down the eyeliner and studied my reflection in the mirror. Too much mascara? Grandma always told me I had the prettiest eyes. Smiling, I pulled my hair into a loose braid. Now, where was my lucky pebble? Oh there. Good. Now I was ready.
Continue reading“I was entirely indifferent to the news of his death.”
Gak!
I usually choke twice or thrice a year. Not figuratively, but an honest to God “clawing at my neck with the whites of my eyes showing,” choking. And while I know I’m often hyperbolic, this is not one of those times.Continue reading“Gak!”
The one thing I can do.
(Photo by Natalie Grainger on Unsplash)
It’s pretty apparent I have been letting myself go for a while. I’m not very tall — 5’5” if I don’t slouch — so the extra weight shows. Folds exist where there were none before. I make this ungainly “unff” sound after climbing a flight of stairs. And my knees. Oh, my knees are writing angry letters to the editor.Continue reading“The one thing I can do.”
Off my lawn, you whippersnappers!
(Photo by Kevin Lehtla on Unsplash)
Lately, I’ve noticed myself changing and not for the better. I’m crabby even after my caffeine fix, and I frequently catch myself loud-sighing when things don’t go my way. Life’s minor annoyances irk me to no end — looking at you, Mr. Lexus, who thinks it is acceptable to go 50 mph on the express lane, despite my polite honking. I’m not even 40 yet, which means menopause is years away, so that can’t be an excuse. But a tiny throbby vein is setting up permanent residence on my temple, and try as I might, I can’t douse the prickly fire burning in my lower belly. If I was at one of those meetings, where everyone says a few words about themselves, I would go, “Hi, I’m Pavi, and I hate most things, including meetings like this one. Also, stop staring at me, Brenda. What, you’ve never seen a woman show up to work in yoga pants? Sheesh.” Continue reading“Off my lawn, you whippersnappers!”
Soulmates.
They say “sex sells,” but I disagree. If I want to peddle something, it makes little sense to go the skimpy bikini route. Instead, I find myself a wholesome couple – conventionally attractive, yet relatable and normal. I then throw them into an impossible situation and wedge my product/service in there somehow. The scientific formula for the ad would be:
Quagmire + my product/service = violins playing as the couple walks off into the sunset, fingers, and hearts entwined. Ah, they’re soulmates!Continue reading“Soulmates.”
When in doubt, lie.
My 6-year-old came up to me yesterday, her eyes shining with some concern.
“Amma?”
“Yes, darling.”
“So Eva told me yesterday that Santa is not real. Is that true, Amma?”
For the first time in forever.
(Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash)
I am abuzz. Positively abuzz. I’m thrilled to bits, and there’s a bounce to my step. Why? Because I have big plans, that’s why!Continue reading“For the first time in forever.”
Dignity? Who needs that?
I’m not the biggest fan of jumpsuits, rompers, and the like. In theory, they’re perfect — chic, summery, and go well with sneakers or heels. You could wear it to the mall, then get home, slap on a tailored jacket, and boom! You’re ready for dinner. See — in theory, perfect!Continue reading“Dignity? Who needs that?”
Silence is underrated – an absurd walk down memory lane.
(Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash)
My sister and I were reminiscing yesterday, mostly about my grandpa and his sheer badassery. A stringy beanpole of a man, grandpa (or Thatha as we called him), was a force of nature. Bright, articulate, and an absolute whiz at crosswords, he introduced us to Shakespeare and Wodehouse, the latter birthing in him a fondness for puns and wordplay. He was loaded with self-deprecating anecdotes — his favorite was the one about how he was napping after a huge lunch when India won independence from the British Monarchy. He loved the sillier side of life and was my best friend and confidante growing up.Continue reading“Silence is underrated – an absurd walk down memory lane.”
